Tuesday, June 7, 2011

How I came to be interested in this time of life

 I desperately wanted to make my life count

My concern for those nearing the end of life began in early 1980s after asking (demanding) God give me a mission. In a few months I met Carlene when insurance paid for round the clock RN's in home. She asked me, "When the time comes will you talk me through it?" I didn't know what would be helpful or if I could be there as I lived an hour away. But when she died I was there and it very special time for all of us, her family, I and Carlene in her dying. We talked her through it as she asked. Held her, played music, sang. Let her know she was loved, safe, and she did a good job living her life. We told her when she was ready she could just let go. We would take care of things for her after she was gone. In an hour she was gone. It was with such sweetness and grace she "left".

After she died I saw how important to be there with support and to help for so they have ideas what can be done to help when I seems hopeless. I went on to develop educational materials for families, giving ideas on what to say and do so people not be abandoned in last hours. Later I expanded my concept of what is "family"  to include all loved ones. Husbands and lovers of gay men living and, at the time, dying with AIDS, taught me a great deal about love and being at the bedside with tenderness and care.

The next step in this journey, I literally ran into Mother Theresa in the Miami Airport. She instructed me to open my heart and serve those who were alone and loosing the fight against AIDS.

In late 80s, Marianne Williamson, gave me a way to begin to serve in developing program for men and women living with AIDS . She supported me in so many ways, including bringing wonderful people to help. Volunteers learned what to do, then went to the bedside 24 hours a day to be there with love and support.

We no longer provide service but focus on inspiring, teaching and empowering others through educational materials, talks and workshops, and book simply written of ideas, hope and stories, called a Guidance Though Death.

I wish to create a web site  on the Internet with an opportunity for conversations enabling people to share experiences, concerns and ideas. Would you like to be involved? I would love to have input on what I am writing. I would also like another book we all write together and share what can be done to care at this most important time of life. Would you like to help with your experiences and skills?